He never thought of that!

"What are you still doing here? I said one song and then you go clean out my litter box!"

Who gives a shit about Tom Cruise and Will Smith? My very favorite bromance has got to be my beloved Axl Rose and Sebastian "SAVAGE ANIMAL!" Bach. (I think we all know who wears the leather pants in this relationship.) Ever since these two hooked up a few years ago, Baz has been loving being Axl's bitc--I mean, BFF. He also loves the spotlight (see: Celebrity Duets, Supergroup, Celebrity Rap Superstar) so whenever a media outlet ever needs anyone to comment on the elusive Axl, Sebastian is more than happy to oblige.

So last week when nine Chinese Democracy tracks made their way online, Rolling Stone gave Sebastian a call hoping to get some inside info. But by now Sebastian knows better than to give out any confidential information, so instead he served up a couple anecdotes of times he pissed off Axl.

You have to picture him telling this while cracking himself up and slapping his knees:

“There’s only a couple of times he’s ever gotten mad at me. One of them was when I let Ron Jeremy in his dressing room. He didn’t like that at all. ‘Why the fuck did you let Ron Jeremy in my dressing room?’ I was like, 'dude, he was begging.' That wasn’t a good time for me. Axl goes from zero to 60 faster than any hemi engine, I’ll tell you that.

When we were first hanging out in 2006, we were just standing around a bunch of people. I go, ‘Axl, do you think you might get the record out? It would be a great time, now that we’re on tour and everything.’ He goes, ‘Oh. Great! Everybody! Sebastian has a great idea here, man. Guess what? Sebastian, should I put out a record? Maybe it would be a good idea for me to put out a fucking record! Hey everybody, listen to this! I never thought of that! That never came to me! Oh, great idea dude.’ I felt like Fred Flintstone in Mr. Slate’s office.

“Another thing that I don’t know you’ll ever see is a Axl Rose reality show. When I see that shit, I laugh. Here’s the only other time that he got mad at me. I had just finished shooting Supergroup for VH1. It was on TV in America while we were gallivanting across Europe. We had a beautiful dinner at some incredible Italian restaurant. We are sitting there and I go, ‘Dude, I just shot this reality show for VH1 and they paid me this amount of money, man. It was fucking easy. It was only like two weeks. It was hilarious. Axl, if they paid me this amount of money, they’d pay you like a million bucks for 10 days of some shit.’ He’s looking at me with this look on his face and he’s all quiet and he goes, ‘Sebastian, you don’t understand.’ I go, ‘What?’ He goes, ‘I will pay VH1 $2 million to leave me the fuck alone!‘ I would bet my life you won’t be seeing the Axl Rose reality TV show."

Screw Chinese Democracy, I want an Axl and Sebastian reality show! I want to see them have beautiful dinners and fights about why Sebastian let Ron Jeremy into Axl's dressing room. It would be so much better than The Two Coreys!

SOURCE