Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Deja Vu (hey Jason, that's French!)
MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:
Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas were amazing!! And it's only the first week!! Yeah, I know she has a bit of an advantage being a figure skater, but like she said - it is different. Beautiful foxtrot!!
Huh? Oh, Idol? Most awesome performance last night? Can I say Simon when he said it was a really bad idea to do a second Beatles week because last week was so great? Seriously, close the Lennon/McCartney songbook!! Poor Paul, first he's gotta give Pegleg $30 mil and now this? It was painful. And dreadful. And everyone was disappointing. Except for Ryan, who wasn't as douchy as usual. I guess having a new beard is good for him.
MOST AWESOMELY BAD PERFORMANCE:
So sorry Brooke, but even you know it sucked. Maybe it would have been better if there were a couple more literal sunshine references, like a box of Raisin Bran or if she put on a pair of shades, Caruso-style, after the "Wooo!"
Yeah, and then some animated birds can come flying in! Yellow ones, of course.
MOST AWESOME MOMENT OF LAST NIGHT'S SHOW:
Skip the boring performance and go straight to 4:40. No need to even make a joke! The best part is about two seconds later when Kristy realizes how what she just said unintentionally came out and is simultaneously embarrassed and hysterical. Even Seacrest can't hold it together. And Simon's all "Ok, see you after the show."
STILL DON'T GET IT:
Stay with me here. Imagine if they made a musical out of Dazed and Confused. And they had a scene in French class. This would be Slater's number. And then after the song he'd be like "Screw France, America's the shit, man. George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man. And behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man."
STILL HITTIN' THE PIPE:
Simon says "smug", I say probably a combination of confidence and his face just being like that (Sorta like the 'stinkeye' from Juno, but in this case, it would be the 'fuckeye') but even if he was, so what? You need a touch of cockiness to be an authentic [/Paula] rocker. And without it, you know what you get? Melinda "Aw shucks" Doolittle, that's what. Nuff said about that. Anyway good performance, a little predictable yeah, until Frampton Came Alive!
Oh, and SECOND MOST (UNINTENTIONALLY) AWESOME MOMENT comes in at 5:00. Oh dear Seacrest, you needed both of the Olly girls!
AM I WATCHING A FUCKING TELETHON?
Simon sees dollar signs from the Jonas Brothers crowd. David's dad does too.
Eh..
One of the best of the night, but she'll still be in the bottom two.
LIGHTNING DOESN'T STRIKE TWICE:
And it doesn't make it different if you throw in a harmonica.
SHE'S LIKE A BIRD:
Was she seriously trying to compare her failed $2 million dollar record deal to a fucking crippled bird? The close-ups freak me the hell out too. I think she's a vampire. That would explain the fangs and the lack of a soul.
DAYUM!
So I was looking for Ramielle's awful performance, but I stumbled on this and thought it was way more interesting.
PREDICTIONS:
Bottom Three: KKKristy Lee Cook, Syesha, and Amanda or Michael Johns (who I just realized were both so forgettable, that I forgot to post them here. Michael's suffering from Ace Young Syndrome and the hotness isn't going to save him much longer. Amanda may be singing in those bars in Lafayette sooner than she thinks.)
Going home - Syesha (upset)
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