Jessica Simpson is sad

In the cover story of the latest issue of Us Magazine, a "friend" of Jessica Simpson says that Jess regrets divorcing Nick Lachey and spent October 26th, what would have been their fifth anniversary, somberly looking through old photo albums of herself and Nick when they were together.

The mystery friend said, "Jessica thought she would be with someone right by now."

Ok, so she's not missing Nick specifically, she just wants to be with someone? And she thought she'd leave Nick and get somebody better, but it didn't happen and now she's sad. And she thought she'd be a big movie star but that didn't happen either. Poor, poor Jessica!

Jess herself recently said when a guest on The View, "I want a man. Somebody who's a really great family guy...Gosh, just somebody who's strong enough to be my man." Isn't that a Sheryl Crow song?

Anyway, Jess, you don't need a strong man, just a deaf one! And when you find one, stay far, far away from your father!