This is a photo of:

A) SANJAYA! playing a Bat Mitzvah in Long Island.

B) SANJAYA! using his mystical powers to open the Hellmouth on an unsuspecting audience, thus carrying out his master plan of taking over the world!!! MUHAHAH!!!

C) SANJAYA! performing the YMCA for a banker's convention.



(It's B stupid!)

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Congrats Madge!

Madonna was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night in New York City along with John Mellencamp, Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen, the instrumental band the Ventures, and The Dave Clark Five.

(YouTube links won't work for some reason, so click on the text to view clips)

She was inducted by Timberfuck, who I begrudgingly have to give credit to, because he did a decent job (did we really need two Britney jokes though?).

Madonna decided to be from Michigan last night during her speech, though Madge creeps in every now and then.

Then Iggy Pop (who was snubbed by the Hall of Fame) performed. Um . And check out how the staged the backstage exchange between Iggy and Madonna looks!

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Everybody loves to sing Guns N' Roses!

Any why wouldn't they since GN'R are the best band EVER! They NEED a Guns N' Roses theme night on American Idol!! (and if they do, they need to bring back Danny Noriega!)

A couple days ago I posted a clip of Carrie Underwood getting her Axl on during a recent concert. Now here's Pink getting hers on--along with getting on the dude from Metal Skool or Steel Panther or whatever they're called. It's pretty fun but the best part is her face at the end when they tell her she's "way better than Ashlee Simpson."

At least she's honest

Christina Ricci said she would have plastic surgery "if I aged in a really unfortunate manner. Or something happened, like the skin on my knee dropped. I don't mind having dental work or any surgery, because I like the pills they give you."

Leave K-Fed Alone!

K-Fed's ex and babymamma --the other one-- has come to his defense about his recent weight gain, saying that he's just being a good father.

Shar Jackson told US magazine, "It's daddy weight! When you are a full time parent, sometimes you can't focus on you. If gaining a few pounds is your only problem, life's not too bad!"

Federline's representative also had something to say about the earth-shattering news of K-Fed's porking up, "He's a stay-at-home dad, and people tend to gain weight when they are home with the kids. He's very happy with the way he looks."

Ok fine, no problem. Go K-Fed Alot!! Rock on with you pudgy self!


Now who's gonna explain the hair?


Anyone?


Shar?


Bueller?


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Cone-Grad-U-Lasions......................Christian!

Congrats to Christian Siriano the winner of Project Runway! Hopefully this means that he will start a ready-to-wear line called "FIERCE! by Ferosha Coutura."

I was looking for a video of him winning, and stumbled upon THIS . It scares me that there are such whacked people out there.

Creepy

Didja ever notice, in like every single picture of Tom and Katie, he's got that weird kung-fu grip around her wrist?

I'm sure she deserved it though, she was probably disobeying him again.

Oh hell no!

Broadway bosses reportedly are interested in getting Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to star in Chicago together.

Nicole has allegedly already been offered a role (no word on which one) in the show and producers are hoping they can get Paris onboard too.

A source told OK! magazine, "The producers think they will sell double the amount of tickets."

Isn't there something wrong with casting these two considering they are the exact thing Chicago is supposed to be a satire of? That fuzzy line between fame and infamy and the public's fascination with crazy and ego-obsessed bitches?

And the irony of it all, is that if this does happen, they probably will sell double the amount of tickets (I'm gonna guess mostly tourists that wouldn't normally go to a Broadway show but saw the movie and want to see Paris and Nicole in it.) therefore proving the whole point of the story!


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Being on this show wasn't his most embarrassing moment?

Remember that MTV show about the up and coming singer (that never ended up coming) called Cheyenne? Me neither. But check out her stoned and dreaded boyfriend Jason! Where have I seen that guy before?

Funny how he's more famous now than she is.

For all you Castrates (it'll catch on) out there, he's shirtless at 1:47.

Unfortunately there's not a shot of him accidentally pulling out one of his dreads.

Rumer's a covergirl!!!

Well, sort of. They kinda had to let her since the Harper's Bazaar cover was a photo of Demi and her daughters.

Anybody else getting an Addams Family vibe?

You'll poke your eye out!

WARNING: All Umbrella-ella-ella dancing is performed by professionals and should not be attempted otherwise.

Rihanna should consider printing that warning on her concert tickets after banning fans from bringing umbrellas to her U.K. shows over fears for their safety.

And the hysterical part is that the ban is actually warranted after several concertgoers were injured after attempting to imitate her umbrella-accompanied dance moves during her performance of her hit song at recent shows on her European tour!

A security guard who works at an arena in Scotland where Rihanna recently performed said, "We don't normally ask people to leave an umbrella outside. But we were taking precautions over a potential accident. We were told that Rihanna's song features dancing with umbrellas on stage. We didn't want the crowd following her actions and someone getting their eye poked out."

I applaud Rihanna for looking out for her fans like that. Umbrellas are no joke. Just ask Britney! If only Gene Kelly had taken this precaution back in his day-- I'm sure lots of people's grandparents would still have both eyes.

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Snoop don't like Oprah no more!

Snoop Dogg has shot back at the Queen of the World, Oprah Winfrey after she called him a misogynist.

This all started last year when Oprah called out Snoop for perpetuating a negative image of women through hip-hop on her show. Snoop felt she should have invited him on her show to give him the opportunity to defend himself.

The always eloquent Snoop said, "I don't like her no more. I really was offended, because I kind of like her. Liked her. I'm very articulate, very intellectual. She didn't even get a chance to even know me."

That quote gets funnier every time you read it.

Snoop added that his misogynisting days are over, know what I'm sayin? He said his new work "is for the women" and that he wants to " give the ladies something, because I've been so mean and so rude."

To start on his quest of feminism, Snoop will serve as the master of ceremonies for the "BunnyMania Lumberjack Match" at this year's Wrestlemania. In the match, four scantily clad women (two of which are Playboy Playmates) roll around the floor with each other while other scantily clad women surround the ring. Take that Oprah!!!

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Why do bad things always have to happen to good people?

The National Enquirer reported today that Patrick Swayze has terminal cancer and the doctors have given him five weeks to live.

According to the story, pancreatic cancer was found in late January and it has since spread to other organs. Patrick has allegedly been seeking treatment in California but has not had success. He reportedly received three treatments of chemotherapy which made a little progress in shrinking the tumor but doctors are concerned that it's not enough.

Neither Patrick, his reps, or his family have released any statements or confirmed the National Enquirer's report.

UPDATED: Patrick's publicist issued the issued the following statement to TMZ:

"Actor Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and is currently undergoing treatment.

Patrick's physician Dr. George Fisher states, 'Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far.

All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic.'

Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family."

New career for Britney?

Britney still may not be allowed to see her children whenever she wants, but nobody said she couldn't hang out with other people's kids!

She's been teaching dance to a class of 15 young girls (whose parents' obviously have not seen her performance at the MTV Video Awards) at L.A.'s Millennium Dance Complex for the past month.

And the kids love her! Little Elissa Bouganim told PEOPLE, "I like Britney. Today, first we were dancing slow, and then faster and faster ... Then we did the fish-move and lots of other fun things." (Note: the "fish move" was just Britney nodding off and losing her balance, but the five-year-olds were none the wiser.)

Elissa's mom was really happy with her daughter's new teacher, "It's just amazing to watch Britney with the kids. Elissa won't stop dancing now, that's all she wants to do. Britney has really inspired her."

Dammit, I can't make fun anymore. I think this is great and maybe this will finally help Britney turn things around. She should move back to Kentwood and open a dance studio and be Miss Britney.

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Holy shit- I guess I have to love this chick now!

Relax, it's not Danny Noriega again.

It is a former American Idol though:Carrie Underwood.

And she's taking on.... GN'R?

And not just one song, but two!

And it's awesome!