Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Asshat Idol - Top 13



MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:



Hands down, Jorge Nunez with "Never Can Say Goodbye." This is one of those unforgettable American Idol moments where you know you're watching a star being born. The excitement of the song, the awesome stage presence, everything about it was just incredible. Just wow!



Yes, I'm kidding.

I just wanted to see if anyone fell for that before I posted this:



Black, white, man, woman, gay, bi, whatever, we all bought into it, just admit it. How could you not? This kid's got some big balls and I bet they sparkle. Not to mention vocal chords. Shit, can we finally have metal night, because I wanna hear him do some Maiden. What
didn't he do? If you watch closely, he even did that thing at the end where he morphed into all the different people (OMG- Tyra?!!) The only thing that would have made this performance better would be if he did that little rap in the middle that Macaulay Culkin lip-synched to. Still, Adam Lambert will save this season from being a complete snoozefest, one song, tube of glitter, and eyeliner pencil at a time.

Somewhere Nathaniel Marshall is crying, realizing Adam is what he failed so miserably at trying to be.

ALSO AWESOME:



Even more than Allison's great performance and the marvelous faces she makes, is when Simon told her to "lighten up" (on her song choices) to which Allison responded
"It's not like I cut or anything." (unfortunately not in the above video) Love!


MOST AWESOMELY BAD PERFORMANCE:




Remember last season when Carly sang "Blackbird" and all hell broke lose because Simon hates songs about birds? Well Megan Corkrey has two words for Simon and they are, "CAW!! CAW!!" It was the perfect cap to her Sesame Street worthy performance of "Rockin' Robin" complete with chicken dance choreography. That was some pretty amazing shit right there.


NO ANOOP!!!



Anoop totally blew what could have been an awesome performance of "Beat it".

I fear for our Slumdog Idol. Also in trouble, Jasmine the Disney Princess and any guy who is not glamoriffic, blind, or a pathetic dead-wife pimper.

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