Thursday, December 7, 2006

Rant - Something I never realized when I was a kid

So the new Charlotte's Web movie is coming out soon and I was thinking about the story and something hit me: If there was a spider that could weave words, not to mention big, sophisticated words like "radiant" and "terrific," into a web, wouldn't the spider and not some dumb pig be the talk of the town?

I'm a vegetartian and a member of the ASPCA so I'm all for saving pigs and all but why did Wilbur get all the fame? Why was there no "Zuckerman's Famous Spider" song? Those townspeople read the webs and thought "Yeah, that pig
is radiant, terrific, and humble (not! on that last one)!" How dumb were they? Did they even stop to wonder how the hell a spider could write a word into a web and how terrific a spider would have to be to be able to do that? Asshats! No love for Charlotte. She was the Andrew Ridgley of the farm. And what did she get for it? Nothing. She DIED!!! Probably way before her time because she was as overworked as Paris Hilton's vagina from weaving all those fancy webs for Wilbur.

This is bothering me more than it should, huh? Oh well, maybe since Julia Roberts is playing Charlotte in the movie, she'll demand a little respect for her, you know, since she's a divabitch and all. I still want to see the movie, just for Steve Buscemi though.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved this book when I was a little girl. Now I have a son who has read it several times. Hearing him read it I've wondered the same thing. Maybe E.B. White was trying to show us that people will believe anything they read no matter what the source is. Atleast he knew who the star of the book should be. After all he titled it Charlotte's Web and not Wilbur the Radiant Pig ;-).

Anonymous said...

ITA! It's like heralding the reader instead of the writer/artist. What's up widdat?