Want more Danny Noreiga?

This guy's quickly getting up to Chris Crocker YouTube status!

I can't help it, he's really growing on me. That rap is awesome!

I can't wait to hear what he does tonight!

I need more!!

Danny Noriega is punk rock!!!

This video of American Idol contestant Danny Noriega spreading some Christmas cheer surfaced today.

How did he know what I wanted for Christmas?!

Paula's not forever MTV's girl

MTV has dissed it's former darling Paula Abdul big time, choosing not to air her new music video for the song, “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow.” Those cold-hearted snakes!! (sorry!)

A spokesman for MTV told OK! magazine, “There are currently no plans to play the video.”

The spokesman then added, "There are currently no plans to play any videos."

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Rumor Control

NOT CANCELED:

Sources within Van Halen have told Billboard.com that despite recently postponing and rescheduling concerts in Virginia, Georgia, and Texas, the band's tour is not being canceled.

The reason for the postponement of these shows (and three upcoming ones) is so that Eddie Van Halen can undergo medical tests.

Van Halen's management released the following (vague) statement: "Eddie is undergoing a battery of comprehensive medical tests to determine a defined diagnosis and recommended medical procedures."

The tour is set to resume next Tuesday, March 11th.

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NOT PREGNANT:

Kate Hudson's brother Oliver has denied that his sister is knocked up. Oliver said, "I will squash that right now. She is absolutely 100 per cent not pregnant."

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NOT ENGAGED

Tony Romo has denied reports that he and his lucky charm, Jessica Simpson are engaged. He told PEOPLE, "I mean, it's just rumors. That's what people say. I'm sure I'll get married one day. I don't know when."

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NOT KIDDING:

Madonna's friend and fellow Detroit native, Iggy Pop, and his reformed band, The Stooges will perform punked up versions of some of her hit songs as a tribute when she is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame next week.

I can't wait to hear what he does with La Isla Bonita!!

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Lindsay Lohan is an artiste!

For anyone lucky enough to live in New York, Lindsay Lohan will be opening her very own art exhibit on Thursday!!

No, Lindsay doesn't paint. Or take photographs. Or know anything about art. Instead, the collection will consist of photographs, chosen by Lindsay, which "represent the mood behind her tattoos." That Lindsay is so deep!

Still don't get it?

Here's an example:

The "La Bella Vita" tattoo above her ass was the end result of a three day drinking binge which is represented here by this photograph of Jack Daniels:

If you are artsy (like Lindsay!) and would like to read even more into it, "La Bella Vita' means "beautiful life" and life sure is beautiful after some Jack! Or at least people look better. Better enough, in fact, for you to show them your ass and your exotic foreign language tattoo!


Lindsay also has the word "breathe" tattooed on her wrist in white ink:


Which would be represented by this photograph:

The similar color scheme is not the only link between the tattoo and the photo. The word breathe is very significant as well. One breathes through his nose, and snorting is a variation of breathing--one with added purpose. So it is very important to breathe correctly. Notice the placement of the word breathe on the inside of the wrist--that is significant as well because this way Lindsay can always be reminded of the importance of breathing right before she's about to dive right into some lines.

I never realized how artistic Lindsay was!

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Daisy is lovely

Speaking of Jack Daniels and cocaine, here's a photo from the Myspace of the beautiful and talented Daisy from Rock of Love. TMZ posted it today and I had no idea she was Oscar DeLaHoya's niece!!! Wassagoin'on with me? Daisy sang a heart-wrenching version of the national anthem on this week's show. Why doesn't Oscar have her sing before his fights?

If you ever get bored, a good way to pass the time is to look at the MySpace pages of the contestants of Rock of Love and Flavor of Love. I said a good way, not a productive way.

I call Daisy and Kristi Jo for top two!

This is a photo of:

A) TYRA!!! Banks and Janet Jackson on Tyra's talk show?

B) TYRA!!! Banks taking down Janet Jackson in a figure four leglock?

C) TYRA!!! Banks attempting to rape Janet Jackson?

D) TYRA!!! Banks feeling threatened by someone more fierce than she is and preparing to strangle Janet with her own weave.

Everybody knows, so just admit it already Kate!

And it's not David Lee Roth's fault!

Is theVan Halen tour over?

TMZ reports that hotel arrangements for the band for the remaining dates of their tour are being canceled right this minute after the tour, which was scheduled to end April 19th, has been canceled.

Sources say that the reason is Eddie Van Halen and that he is having "issues" and has been performing "atrociously" in recent concerts.

Obligatory photo:

He's probably started drinking again after Valerie started airing all their dirty laundry in a lame attempt to get people interested in her stupid book instead of just eating her Jenny Craig dinners and making Lifetime movies. Damn you Valerie!

How could you Adnan?!

Britney Spears has dumped Adnan Ghalib after she found text messages containing "pretty saucy stuff with sexual references" from another woman on his phone.

An insider told the Sun, "Britney lost it and started yelling. She was demanding to know who sent the texts and shouting, 'What's this about? You're cheating on me' Just before she told Adnan to go, she took the phone and threw it in the pool right in front of him. He didn't even bother trying to get it out of the water."

Look for those pictures Adnan's been rumored to be shopping around to surface any day now. He's gonna need some cash!

No word on which paparazzi photographer Britney plans to date next.

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Another day, another Idol scandal

Not much of a scandal, just a DUI, and an old one at that.

This year's token "rocker chick," Amanda Overmyer was arrested back in Octobert 2006 and plead guilty to DUI back in October 2006. She received a 60 day suspended sentence and was put on 180 days probation which ended last August.

What's shocking is she's had that same hair style since 2006!

Amanda has more to worry about than this coming out. Her performance last night was really, really, really bad.

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Mariah looks............good!

Ok, until you get to the ridiculous stripper shoes but this is a big deal for her! Usually her ensembles consist of a short sausage dress three sizes too small for her.

Go Mariah!!

Just don't go too fast or you'll fall.

Ashlee and Pete are not downloading a baby

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have denied that Ashlee is pregnant following a parody video the couple made on the website friendsorenemies.com .

In the video, titled "World's Greatest Assholes" (my my, aren't we full of ourselves?) Pete talks about the illegal downloading of music problem and how he wants to make something that can't be illegally downloaded- A baby! Then the camera cuts to Ashlee lying on the bed eating Cheetos. ( I think they're reenacting the conception of Sean Preston Federline. ) Thankfully, the video ends there. Then they say the the release date is July 08. Get it? Those pranksters!

It was obviously a joke, but the couple want to make sure everyone knows that. Or they want to make sure everyone sees the video because they are really proud of the comic geniuses they are. Hey guys, next time: YouTube!

What is with all these celebrities making viral videos lately? Has anyone seen the Miley and Mandy show? (Disclaimer: Clicking on the Miley and Mandy link may cause maniacal rage and Asshat Hollywood is not responsible for any injuries or deaths that may result.) It used to be an outlet for nobodies like this guy to get their 15 minutes of fame. But the celebrities just won't let that be without getting in on it too.

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New tattoo?

Stripper-turned Oscar winner Diablo Cody is planning to celebrate her Best Original Screenplay Academy Award by getting a tattoo of Juno star Ellen Page.

Asshat Hollywood ran into the screenwriter recently and asked about the impending ink. Diablo responded with "NOBODY ASKED ME! I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide. Jeebus!"

Ok then. Sorry?

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I always think of Bjork around Oscartime, and here she is!

Bjork has been cancelled from appearing at a music festival in Serbia after allegedly making pro-Kosovan remarks at a concert in Japan.

Organizers of the Exit Festival, which will take place in Novi Sad, Serbia in July, dropped Bjork from the line-up after she dedicated a track called Declare Independence to the Balkan state of Kosovo (Serbia refuses to acknowledge Kosovo's independence after Kosovo recently broke away from Serbian rule. )

On her cancellation Bjork said, "Maybe a Serb attended my concert and called home, and therefore the concert in Novi Sad was cancelled."

Well they certainly didn't cancel her for her impeccable taste in clothing! Don't sweat it Bjork. It's just human behavior.

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